anxiety
Are you tired of feeling out of control?
You spend so much time and energy preparing for worst-case scenarios, or worried something bad is going to happen
You endlessly replay experiences in the past, something you did or said, wondering if anybody noticed,
You have such an intense desire to be perfect or to really excel that sometimes you can’t even start a project for fear of failure
You compare yourself to others and know you’re just not good enough–after all, everyone else seems to be having such an easy time figuring all this out, why can’t you?
You feel on-edge, hyper-alert, and feel like you can’t relate.
Your shoulders are always up at your ears, or it feels like you can’t breathe, or your chest always feels tight
Maybe some days you’re able to shove it all down and feel in control, but other times you feel nothing at all
You try to distract yourself from these feelings in less-than-ideal ways:
drinking in excess just so you can “turn off” your brain
setting strict limitations on what or when you can eat
avoiding certain places or situations where you might get overwhelmed
This is all affecting your ability to focus, your levels of energy and motivation, and your ability to actually enjoy your life.
If any of this feels familiar, Anxiety Therapy can help.
You can feel more in control of your life. You are capable of changing your relationship with your anxiety, even though it probably feels like an alien concept right now. By seeking therapy for your anxiety, you can finally breathe and just be, without feeling ruled by constant fear and worry.
Anxiety Therapy can help you:
Explore the role anxiety plays in your life and examine some assumptions your anxiety has convinced you are true
Learn new coping skills to decrease overall anxiety and increase your ability to tolerate distress and uncertainty
Change the way you speak to yourself and, as a result, alter your relationship with yourself, increase motivation, and make life feel more manageable.
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There are many evidence-based approaches to anxiety therapy!
My approach to anxiety combines my training in skills-based therapy, talk therapy, and processing methods. Many people initiate anxiety therapy when their existing coping skills–whether that be distraction, substances, or even dissociation–aren’t working any more. I first work with my anxiety clients to modify or create new, more effective ways of managing stress.
As you might imagine, sometimes even just thinking or talking about anxiety can be, well, anxiety-inducing! By giving my clients some more immediate coping skills, they are better able to tolerate distress that will inevitably come up in therapy. This will allow us to later expand our exploration of their fears and worries, and ultimately address the anxiety at its core.
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No, nor should you want to be! Anxiety, just like every other emotion, is a part of the human experience. The goal is not to “get rid of” anxiety, but to change your relationship with it so you are in control. After all, anxiety and fear can sometimes be beneficial—they stop us from stepping out into the street without looking, they can be motivational and at some levels improve performance, or they can signal to us that something is in need of urgent attention. However, when we experience constant anxiety, it is no longer helpful.
My approach to anxiety therapy stems from this acknowledgement: While experiencing anxiety is inevitable and human, it does not need to define you nor control your daily life. I work with my clients to better understand their emotions and ways they can effectively manage them, not obliterate them.
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First, take a deep breath; this is heavy stuff! I’m excited to work with you on addressing your anxiety and helping you feel more in control of your life. We can start with a free 20-30 minute consultation to discuss some of your goals, and to see if we are a good fit for one another.
explore
Are you feeling disconnected from yourself?
You feel adrift, or uncertain of what the future holds for you
The hopelessness and helplessness you feel sometimes gives way to pure pessimism, even nihilism–after all, what is the point of doing this math homework if the world’s just going to end soon?
You struggle with knowing who you really are and what is important to you against the backdrop of global grief and suffering
It feels impossible to figure out how to live a meaningful life when you are acutely aware of all the injustice in the world
What does it even mean to truly be yourself, or to live an authentic life? And how do you do that when you’ve got bills to pay?
You wish you could talk to others about this, but you end up feeling like you’re bringing down the mood, or others don’t want to go there, or you all just end up “joking” about death
You try to cope by pushing those thoughts away or looking for escape in the form of distraction or even dissociation
Existential Overwhelm
Identity and Values Work
Maybe at one point you had a clear idea of what it meant to be You. But recently, the last few years especially, it has become increasingly difficult to know what your role is and how to find meaning
You have a few identities that drive your day-to-day life (student, parent, friend, spouse), but these feel disjointed or incomplete and don’t necessarily provide you with a sense of purpose
You’re vaguely aware of the values you hold in life, but could you list them all out? And do you have an idea of how to utilize them to really guide your life?
You likely have other identities that impact you and are worth exploring:
maybe you’re questioning your sexuality or gender
maybe the way you relate to your cultural or ethnic identity is changing as you age and grow
maybe you feel isolated as a disabled person in an increasingly inaccessible world
You want some clarity on who you are, and to know what is really important to you
Most of all, you want to live a life that feels authentic and captures your true values
It is time to bring back meaning in your life. Processing existential themes and exploring aspects of your identity can help.
You can live a more open, meaningful, and authentic life. You deserve the space to talk about the world and your role in it, without being judged or dismissed. These topics are heavy and overwhelming–and they’re also so important and can provide relief.
Addressing Existential Overwhelm and Exploring Identity can help you:
Increase your understanding of what your needs are, and how to pursue them
Demystify your values and create a sense of purpose and belonging
View yourself as a holistic being and feel more grounded in your day-to-day life
Explore intersections of your identities and how social pressures and systemic oppression impact you
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My approach to existential topics in therapy is informed by my study of Existential-Humanism, a philosophy of treatment that emphasizes supporting you through phases of grief, acceptance, and growth.
I am dedicated to creating a therapeutic space where you can grapple with the heaviness of the human experience without having to worry about me trying to cheer you up, talk you out of your feelings, or deny how all your complex identities influence important parts of your life.
By not shying away from the upsetting realities of the world, or pretending that everything is fine, I can support clients increase self-awareness in a world that encourages us to stay shut off from ourselves.
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Most modern approaches to therapy pathologize surface-level “symptoms” like anxiety and depression and attempt to “fix” them via coping skills, cognitive restructuring, or behavioral modification.
Existential and client-centered approaches acknowledge that it makes sense for people to feel helpless and lost in what can be an oppressive and uncaring society. Existential and Humanistic therapies focus on empowering the client to increase self-awareness, self-choice, and psychological growth. The benefit of this approach is that I can acknowledge the sometimes terrifying nature of reality, life, and death, and work within those bounds to support my clients find meaning and live authentically.
I acknowledge this approach is not for everyone! If you are interested in learning concrete ways to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, substance use, disordered eating, interpersonal conflict, or other issues, I do offer skills-based therapy for these concerns based in my training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). If this is something that interests you, please navigate to the Anxiety Therapy tab and the About Me tab for more information.
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I look forward to working with you on (re)discovering who you are and what you want out of life. To start, schedule a free 20-30 minute consultation so we can discuss if this approach is right for you and if we are a good fit for one another.
understand
Processing attachment and relational patterns
You might be a good fit for interpersonal processing groups if you:
Want to improve your communication skills with others. This could include:
expressing your needs directly
setting and maintaining healthy boundaries
navigating conflict
reducing avoidance and passive aggressive approaches
Are tired of falling into the same patterns with partners and friends and are unsure what needs to change
Have difficulty trusting others, opening up, or being vulnerable with others
Feel the need to control others or social situations (or often feel controlled by others in social situations)
Experience loneliness but don’t know how to forge new and meaningful relationships
Want to better understand your attachment style or how previous relationships are impacting you today
Would like to improve your ability to give and receive feedback—even when it is difficult
You can improve your relationships and better understand your attachment styles by engaging in a processing group!
You can have more meaningful and authentic relationships with others; you can unlearn entrenched relational patterns and learn to get your needs met in more effective ways.
Group therapy is a unique setting where you can meet and connect with other individuals also navigating issues of trust, vulnerability, and connectivity. A common refrain of group is “What happens out there [in your everyday life] often comes up in here [in the therapy space].” In other words, the way we show up in group often reflects how we engage with others in the world, and group therapy offers us a chance to pause, reflect on these behaviors, give and receive feedback, and improve the ability to navigate similar situations in your personal life.
Here is an example:
By providing a corrective experience in group therapy, individuals can practice:
How to identify needs in the moment, and learn to verbalise these needs
Give and receive feedback in a closed, private, and less-judgmental space, and have support from a clinician to process any hurt or reactions that come up
Learn to navigate conflict, an unavoidable part of life
Gain confidence in initiating and maintaining important relationships
Increase insight into your relational patterns, what you need out of your relationships, and how you can be your authentic self with others.
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An interpersonal therapy group is a group of people (usually 6 - 12 people) who meet together weekly with one or two therapists to work through relational issues that lead to distress or dissatisfaction in relationships.
Each group session is 90 minutes and members are expected to attend group regularly, as we are hoping to create a trusting and consistent environment to all participants.
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Interpersonal therapy groups are unstructured groups in that there is no formal agenda for each group meeting. The leader does not begin the session with a question and group discussions are not always topical in nature.
Instead, members are asked to mindfully pay attention to their thoughts, feelings, and reactions as they occur moment-to-moment as the group takes place and to report to the group on what they notice.
While this seems very simple, people often have a difficult time with this task. Most of us are so accustomed to acting on our thoughts and feelings that we seldom slow down to notice what is going on “behind the scenes” in our minds. Nevertheless, what goes on in the back of our minds has an impact on how we interact in our everyday lives.
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Absolutely! I incorporate aspects of interpersonal processing into my individual work with clients, as, at the end of the day, some of the same principles of group apply to individual therapy.
However, group provides an opportunity to get real-time feedback from your peers, who are perhaps better able to “tell you like it is,” or can provide multiple perspectives different from mine! Group therapy can often help individuals identify and tweak their interpersonal behaviors much faster than one-on-one therapy can, which many clients are relieved to experience.
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I love facilitating group and am always excited to work with folks who want to enact change in their relationships. To start, schedule a free 20-30 minute consultation so we can discuss if this setting is right for you, what changes you would like to experience in your relationships, and if this is something you can commit to weekly.
Support Groups
Community, camaraderie, and connection
Still Coviding Support Group
WHAT: Virtual support group for folks looking for connection, community, and camaraderie during the ongoing pandemic
WHERE: Anywhere comfortable, with a solid internet connection and privacy
WHO: Anybody 18+ in the U.S. experiencing isolation, frustration, grief, or is otherwise impacted by continued awareness and mitigation
WHEN: Wednesdays, 6:30-8pm Pacific
COST: $35
What Happened to the Gay Bar?
A Cross-Generational Support Group for the Queer Community
WHAT: An opportunity to connect with queer community members from across the lifespan!
WHERE: Anywhere comfortable, with a solid internet connection and privacy
WHO: Anybody ages 18-118+ in the U.S. interested in connecting with and learning more about queer kin in different age brackets
WHEN: Tuesdays, 6:30-8pm Pacific. Starts 6/4/24!
COST: $40